


Weapons

by b0nes_r_us



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:01:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23942752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b0nes_r_us/pseuds/b0nes_r_us
Summary: Short drabble set around book 2/3.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Weapons

“Put that down before you take your eye out.” Said a voice that was in equal measures smooth, familiar and incredibly irritating. Valkyrie lowered the sword, scowling at the back of Skulduggery’s head. She somehow managed to scowl even deeper when he continued, “Fortunately for me, I don’t have any eyes for you to take out, but you do, and that one might be a little hard to explain to your parents.” 

“Or worse,” he added with a chuckle, “Kenspeckle.”

Valkyrie stifled a grin at the thought. “I’m sure Tanith would be very insulted by your lack of faith in me, considering she trained me in swordplay.”   
“If, by swordplay, you mean playing with a sword, which I might add, is a sharp and dangerous weapon, you’re doing a marvellous job.”   
“How can you even see what I’m doing?”

Skulduggery closed the file he was reading and turned around to face Valkyrie. “I don’t need to see what you’re doing. You do this every time you get your grubby little hands on any weapon that takes your fancy.”  
Valkyrie opened her mouth to protest that her hands were not grubby, thank you very much, but as was the usual state of things, Skulduggery kept talking.   
“You swing it around near my furniture, complain that since Tanith has a sword and I have a gun, it’s not fair that you don’t, and try to subtly suggest I get you a sword for Christmas.”

“You wouldn’t have to get me one for Christmas.” She replied, manoeuvring the sword so that it glinted under the warm lights of one of Skulduggery’s living rooms. “I could just keep this one.”   
“No, you can’t. China wants it.”  
“What does China want with a sword?” Valkyrie wondered aloud. The sword in question was made of iron, and had a hilt made of dull red leather. It was certainly beautiful, though not, in Valkyrie’s opinion, remarkable enough for China’s tastes. 

“It once belonged to a sorcerer named Blaze Riddle.” Said Skulduggery. “Which you would know if you had listened. He made the mistake of trying to kill China during the war. Naturally, this did not end well for him and the only thing of him now remaining is this sword.”

Valkyrie frowned. “So this is essentially a hunting trophy.”  
“If you’d like to put it that way, yes.”  
“I see.” She set it down on the table gently, careful to not scratch the wood.  
“China’s always had a bit of a vindictive streak.”  
“You’d think that would make us consider not giving her weapons, then.”  
“One might think that, yes.”  
“But we’re still giving her the sword?”  
“We’re still giving her the sword. Nice try, though.”

Valkyrie slumped down onto the couch.   
“I still think I should have a sword. Or maybe a spear.”  
Skulduggery tilted his head the way he did when something amused him. “A spear, eh?”  
“Don’t you think that would be cool? I mean, how many people do you know that own spears?”  
“Not many.” He admitted. “Might have something to do with the fact that they’re not very practical.”  
She sighed. “A bow and arrow, then?” 

He actually laughed at that. “Nobody would take you seriously. Besides, I’ve seen your aim with a fireball. You wouldn’t stand a chance with archery.”  
“My aim is better than it was when I started.”  
“That’s true. However, it hasn’t quite reached the level where I no longer question whether I should take you to an optometrist.”  
“Shut up.” She scoffed. “When are we bringing China her stupid sword?”   
“Are you sulking?”  
“No.”  
“Are you sure? Because that’s your sulking face.”  
“I do not have a sulking face.” She said through gritted teeth, desperate not to crack a smile.  
“Yes you do.”  
“I don’t.”  
“You’re making it right now.”  
Valkyrie got up, retrieving the weapon from the table. “Are we bringing China her sword or not?”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed!


End file.
